Letting Go of Control

In the Garden of the Gods, Colorado Springs, CO

If you ask God to use you, He will. If you tell Him you’ll do whatever He needs, get ready for more hills, valleys, and curves than Disneyland’s Space Mountain. It is equally exciting and terrifying when you let go of that safety bar I call “control.” Being a type-A personality, I subconsciously believe I can control everything, and I do my best to control everything. God has used the last 8 years to work some of this out of me. I like to think that every day I’m a little less on edge, resting in Him just a little bit more.

The challenges of every new day test my devotion to what I believe to be His plan. You know the feeling you get when you are living a regular day and BAM! you’re smacked with deja vu, or you notice a strange coincidence? I like to think that in those moments God is winking at me, saying, “You’re on the right path. Keep going.” This has happened a few times since we’ve arrived in Colorado.

  1. During our church hunt, I listened to several Denver-area churches’ sermons online before deciding where to visit. The first sermon I clicked on was from July 21. That Sunday, this new church discussed the same topic David and I had heard at another church on July 21. Strange coincidence, right? But this new church had come to the opposite conclusion (based on exegesis of Scripture) than the other church had come to (based on proof-texting). We attended the new church the next Sunday.
  2. During our apartment search, David and I narrowed our choices from 6 to 2. One block from one of those 2 apartments, we found ourselves in the shadow of the Colorado Center for Reproductive Medicine–arguably the best reproductive clinic in the world. David and I are contented at this moment that God does not have biological children in His plan for us. But this still made me pause.
  3. During our grocery store comparisons, we discovered that clean eating is so popular in Colorado that Whole Foods and Sprouts Markets have cheaper organic offerings than any grocery in the Nashville area. (Thank you, Adam Smith.) I’ve struggled for the last few years with acquiring and affording “healthy food,” so this revelation was a breath of fresh air. Our new, better eating habits will be easy to support in our new home.

None of these things are particularly important, and it is possible–if not probable–that none of them are my imagined “winks” from God. But they make it easier for me to let go of control as I see a brief glimpse of what God might have for me in the future. I’m trying not to hold on to the safety of the past. I want to let go and enjoy this ride!

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